That Time I Fell Asleep...On Stage

"You're doing too much!" - Ray Stern

I'm tired. The last couple weeks have been pretty exhausting to say the least. I’m getting into a new routine, one that will be more demanding of my time than I have been used to in probably years. I’m not complaining though. As I have written here before, I like to keep busy. In fact, that’s kind of been my coping mechanism for my whole life. Lately however, instead of wearing busyness as a badge of honor, I am aware of its usage as a crutch, so knowing that always gives me pause when it gets TOO busy. This time is a bit different, in that the things I would do for mental and physical health like drumming or running have been lessened with each week and fitting them in has been increasingly harder and harder. It’s part of a growing process and a life change, so I’ll acclimate and find the balance eventually, but it doesn't make it less of a bummer to miss out on so much, but I gotta do what I gotta do. In fact I should probably be doing homework instead of writing this, but fuck it… This is a nice break. This is all to say that this week’s bout of tiredness reminded me of a funny anecdote from about a decade ago that I wanted to quickly share.  

From 2009-2016 (?) I was in a 7-piece 60’s girl-group band called The Damselles & The TC4. We would play regular bars, clubs, and a lot of street festivals (including the year Sunset Junction imploded.) We wanted to make our mark and find success where we could, so for a while we played anywhere that would accommodate seven people, sometimes more, all dressed in matching attire who played jaunty 60’s style girl group style originals and covers. The band, in that incarnation, broke up in 2016 (ish?) but now a handful of the core members (including myself once in a blue moon) play with Tom Kenny & The Hi-Seas, while continuing to use the name The Damselles as vocalists. (Side note: Andy Paley came up with the name!) 

One night back in 2000-something or other, we had booked a gig in Santa Clarita at a wine bar that one of our singers had worked at. At the time I was on my second gig in the TV world as a production assistant in the post production department for a reality show production company called Tijuana Productions. We had a Bob Saget show, a show about interventions and a weird MTV dating show among others. Our office was in El Segundo and at the time I was living in Echo Park, and for those of you who know Los Angeles geography, that’s not the most fun daily commute. Beyond that commute, I had to drive to Burbank, Van Nuys, Mid City, Hollywood, Glendale and back to our vendors, because at the time, file sharing was not really an option. I was delivering tapes and DVD cuts to producers, actors, and whomever needed something, so my weekly mileage went from 500-1000 miles a WEEK! I even hit over 1,000 a couple of times… Luckily, I was able to get about 50 cents to the gallon for the mileage so it actually helped my pocket. I drove so much that my 1996 green Saturn hatchback that I had gotten on the cheap from an old drum student's parents a few years back would break down on the freeway weekly, and I eventually turned that car to dust, but I digress…

The week of the wine bar gig was another busy one, and that particular day was no exception. Having traversed Los Angeles a couple times over, I had to leave at rush hour to go from El Segundo to Santa Clarita, suit up, set up the drums and play for 2 hours (2 sets) to Wednesday night wine drinkers. Tired as I was, I knew the show must go on! At the time, were working on some new material, so we thought this show would be a good one to showcase the new stuff. Zombie-fied as I was, playing new songs is always a fun way to stay on my toes, so I welcomed it. One particular new song we played that night, co-written by my ex-wife who was one of the singers, was an R&B ballad that, albeit very lovely, was very slow. 

We start the song, and with my brushes, I hit the groove and the girls are singing beautifully. At this point, I am coasting through the song with ease but after the solo section, there was supposed to be a dramatic pause in the music. I missed the break because… I had fallen asleep. So deep in the song and so deeply tired, I managed to keep playing while losing consciousness. I was awoken by the sound of my name being harshly whispered. It was my ex-wife calling my name, the rest of the band looking at me with both disdain and awe as I kept playing with my eyes closed. Luckily, I came to at the right time and clicked back into the song with the rest of the, understandably so, gobsmacked band, I suppose this was not too dissimilar to the time I had diarrhea on stage. Everyone may have been annoyed with me, but hey, I was professional enough to keep playing in my sleep! Besides, I don’t think it had a huge effect on the show itself or the song for that matter. 

I suppose there's something to be said about loving what you do so much that you're willing to do it no matter how exhausted or sick you are, but the flip side is that being overworked, overstressed and overdoing it without thinking twice can be dangerous. There’s a reason we need sleep and a reason why there are weekends and days off and, what’s that? Napping? I’d argue it’s easier to do this sort of overstuffing in your 20s or early 30s but there becomes this is  point of no return and also diminishing returns if one is continuing to say yes, constantly filling a schedule up to the point where sleep is rare, time to think doesn’t exist and, in my case right now, not being able to work on parts for our new songs, or fitting a quick 5k in before I’m too gassed. 

I’m not unique here. We’re forced to work more, harder, faster and frankly, conditioned to feel bad if we’re not always being “productive” and it’s the oldest trick in the capitalist playbook. As funny as it is to have a story about falling asleep on stage, it’s also kinda sad. I was working myself to the bone and I became physically unable to do the thing I loved doing most, which is play the drums. Well…Almost unable. 

Thank you muscle memory and thank you all for reading. Don’t overwork this week. Deep breaths. Pause from screens. Listen to the birds. 

Take care!

PS - Here’s the tune in question. Nice song.