Gatekeeping, Tiki, and Me.

Together is better.

This past weekend I performed at an event called Tiki Oasis. It’s one of the biggest, if not the biggest, tiki events in the country. What started as a backyard party 24 years ago, is now a premiere event, relative to this particular niche community. It has and likely will continue to grow and evolve, to the chagrin of many.

Tiki Oasis 2024

The idea of gatekeeping, or assuming to own or be the first to have access or know about an event, a band, or a lifestyle, is something that has curiously and inadvertently come up in my sphere lately and being at Tiki Oasis brought up some gatekeeping feelings for me. I had first attended the event 9 years ago and have performed at it 4 times. This was the first I have gone since 2019 and in those ensuing 5 years, it has grown quite a bit. My first thought as I roamed the event and saw the new faces and vendors, is that there seems to be a sort of “Disney-fication” of the event, which is my cynical way of saying it’s gotten very commodified and commercialized and that it is more about buying things and aesthetic more than anything else. It perturbed me in the moment because it felt different than what I was used to and that what it WAS was better than it is now. This is the start of gatekeeping mentality, but instead of getting mad at it or telling myself I am better or cooler for having been there before, I got curious and thought about 3 things.

1. Tiki, as a niche culture, has been around since before ANYONE at the event has been alive, including myself. See history here… or here if you want to know more. I'm not a historian…

2. Because tiki is getting more popular, does that mean it’s a bad thing? The popularity has gotten the promoters of the event to grow and build, and selfishly for me, get me paid to play! Shut up and have fun, Sean! 

3. I met lifelong friends and welcoming people in the tiki world when I was the newbie. Why judge the others? I was once them!

Gatekeeping is cultural and there are many versions of this, but I can only speak for myself, so with that said, I'm gonna theorize why gatekeeping exists from my own purview. 

Back in the 1990s, I noticed this trend when my favorite band, Green Day, were called sell-outs for signing to a major label. I was part of the second wave of fans who got into them after signing to said label and invariably, I was called a poseur by the older fans because they didn't want 12 year olds listening to their band. Well, guess what? Green Day wants 12 year olds to hear them. And 21 year olds. And 112 year olds. I’m sure I can’t speak for all, but if you’re making art, a record or an event, you’d likely want as many people to experience it as possible. That someone can hit a nerve and touch the world is rare, so why do we as fans not want to share that feeling with everyone? There is a proprietary nature to art once it hits you and you identify with the creator, it’s as if they're talking to you and only you. That’s what makes consuming (ew) art so special. But to be blunt, you’re not that unique. The lyrics, the image, the idealized lifestyle you held on to and relate to is always going to be relatable to other people, whether you like it or not. There are over 8 billion people in the world. Art takes away our isolation, so why, as a gatekeeper, are you not allowing others to come with you, so you can feel LESS alone? You may be the first to have seen or done said thing in your sphere, but you’re not the first first. It seems counterintuitive to me to not share with others, but I get it. Holding on to that certain thing gives one a sense of identity, purpose and personality but the thing is, nothing's ever completely one to one. 

Understandably, there's a fear of someone becoming involved with what you like who thrives in a less than ideal behavior, but this is unfortunately, out of our hands. The “Disney-fication” I saw is just an evolution of the event. New people brought that and clearly it’s working for them, just not for me. Again, instead of lashing out, the best I can do is curb my reaction and enjoy the other things I like about the event and perhaps ignore the things I don’t. In a music or band context, the fear of the “jock” ruining a show is real and there are jerks that ruin it for everyone. In my case, drunk assholes ruining DIY venues, or treating women with disrespect at shows are prevalent. Gatekeeping can come from a place of safety where you don’t want assholes in your scene, watching your band, etc. However, those guys (pretty much all guys) go away in time, especially if someone or a group has the courage to stand up to them, which takes me to my next point.

Perhaps this is all part and parcel of an American point of view, which emphasizes individualism. That pervasive feeling of gatekeeping, of people wanting to own a band, an event, a sport, etc and the lack of wanting to share or experience it with other people, specifically people that may not align with them, is pure individualism and frankly, it’s selfish. It stifles any sense of collectivism, which is what makes humans special. Art is meant to be shared. Events are meant to be attended. You can’t have a concert or an event or festival with one person and you can’t make records if only one person buys it. If we embrace the collective nature of art, or evolving and growing gatherings, then we won't feel the need to keep it to ourselves. But that may not be as easy as it sounds, especially if we have been hurt in the past.

Within the sphere of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy there is a theory about core beliefs in that certain events that have happened in your life, rooted mainly from childhood, can shape your beliefs. It's possible that gatekeeping could be a part of this. For example, say you may have been the first at your school to like a TV show and you try to tell others but it falls on deaf ears. Then someone else, perhaps someone who is more popular than you, or you don’t like in general, sees it and tells everyone, so they become the driver of the bandwagon and you’re left without any recognition. You may have been the one who liked it at first, but the other person took credit for being the tastemaker, not you. In this instance, you become resentful for that other person and your core belief changes to thinking that if you try to share something, no one will care what you say, so why bother? To protect yourself, you keep it to yourself. I have been in this position and as frivolous as it may seem, it can do a number on your confidence, especially as a kid. 

These are just theories that I am taking from experience, and I am sure there are many other reasons why people are gatekeepers and of course each person is different so we will never truly know unless we have conversations about it. When you feel like you are being kept from something because of gatekeeping, or rather you yourself feel superior because of your knowledge of something, have a conversation to see why you or they feel this way because you might realize that you have more in common than you think. You may realize it's futile to hold close to the chest something that other people might want to enjoy as well. And really if you think about it, more people means the creators can build upon what they've already done and make better music, better events, etc. It's a win for everyone.

I think about Grateful Dead fans when this comes up. They seem to embrace and want people to come in their inner circle and that they know seeing that band is a shared experience and not an event for one. The Dead Heads are a collective and are happy to share what they love with the world in more ways than one. Even though I personally don't care for the music, I do find it evolved that their fan base revels in the collective nature of it rather than holding on personally to their precious band. Maybe we should be more like them, so pass that joint, get out of your head, or pull your head out of your ass and appreciate that you have something in common with another human. This connection, even if it’s one band or one event, should make us feel far less alone in the universe.

Thanks for reading. I’ve been all over the place, so apologies for the inconsistency. More “mind” to come!

Be safe, happy and healthy if you can!